Perfect Situations
by 2eXist
Summary: Sagara Sousuke is so dense! Well… he’s in for a surprise when he comes home today… Rated M for Mature Audience, sorry kiddies. I just cant’t seem to give you guys a break. Sousuke X Kaname One Shot


**Disclaimer: **This is what Sousuke gets for being so dense when it comes to a girls feeling. All the characters in this fanfic are Shoji Gatoh's - I partake no credit what-so-ever! This short story though, is mine.

╬ **Full Metal Panic! - Perfect Situations **╬

Sagara Sousuke walks into his apartment, oil from self made grenades, gas bombs, mace and other weapons _should_ be the first thing he smells. However, in the blink of an eye the weapon specialist takes out his .33 millimeter pistol and throws himself over his sofa and points his gun in any direction in which the _terrorist_, yes terrorist, because only a terrorist would infiltrate his apartment like this, could be hiding.

Nobody. The only thing making noise is a pot slowly shimmering on his stove. The bedroom, that he never occupies because he sleeps on the floor, behind his sofa, was the only place left. He has a small flat after all… he couldn't afford anything bigger since Mythril cut his paycheck by half. He had requested it to be close to Kaname – well whatever; he didn't actually think they would _really_ take it into consideration!

He walks into his bedroom with great ease and silence. The only person in there was a carefree body laying peacefully on his bed!! Sousuke got closer and saw ---

It was?… himself!?

"What the? --- "

He's looking at himself! How is this possible? He looks around his room fully inspecting for Kurz's prank. Because surely, this had to be one of Kurz lame jokes. He's no sucker though. Sousuke prepared to jump on top of the masked Kurz and take off the very well made mask of himself, only Mao could create something so well made and of this caliber thought Sousuke.

_No! This can't be Kurz! What the hell?_

Literally petrified, Sousuke walks closer to where he was sleeping peacefully._ Lies_. He would never sleep so soundly when there are duties to be taken care of. This was definitely a culprit and he will stop him or she at once!

"That's enough." Sousuke says aiming his gun to himself?

"Wake the hell up! Who are you?"

Nothing. Sousuke just kept sleeping soundly. "That's it I'm not going to repea--"

A loud yawn was all that responded as he, Sagara Sousuke finally stood up from his bed and looked sheepishly around his room. As confusion took over the "real" Sousuke's face, it caused him to point his gun with more accuracy than before. "Ok, talk. Who are you?"

Sousuke was not even aware of the "real" Sousuke there? He heard the shower head go off and looked towards his bathroom door. He broke into sweat at the dangerous situation. He's a fool, he didn't even check if he, meaning this Sagara in front of him was the only person in his house. How could he be so careless? What's going on? Sousuke's naked body rose from the bed with a slight smile that was unreadable to the "real" Sousuke.

"Stop!"

Sousuke was entranced with the bathroom door and started walking towards it, totally ignoring Sousuke's gun. "If you don't stop I'm going to shoot!" The fake Sousuke kept smirking and was getting closer and closer to Sagara who was now moving back as the imposter came closer. Enough warnings. He predicts that only one person is in here with them, and if that's the case, he can take him.

Sagara expertly aimed to Sousuke's leg which will be enough to injure him and stop walking. He didn't want to shoot! It was until – "what?!?" Sousuke walked… right… through him. He then turned around and tried to stop Sousuke but failed. His punches were not only hitting just air, they would go right _through _Sousuke. "This can't be !---- whaaaaa?"

He followed Sousuke into the bathroom trying to push things out of the way and make noise so he, himself could hear his antics? Sagara shook his head in confusion and tried once to understand the situation. He finally came to the conclusion that the _"fake" _Sousuke couldn't hear him. He's going to play it cool and wait for his chance. Something's happening here and he'll surely find out what it was! So, he stayed put, and watched:

Sousuke, still smirking took his tooth brush and quickly brushed his teeth with haste and washed his face. He turned to showered and quickly opened the shower curtains startling a young woman with long dark hair and the prettiest brown eyes he'll ever lay eyes on. Which was enough to startle him all over again!!!

"Chi-chidori!!!!" yelled Sagara in surprise. "I'll protect you Chi--"

"SOUSUKE! You scared me!"

Sagara just stared at the scene taking place right in front of him as he finally noticed Chidori's naked body swirling in soap and water. He turned around in embarrassment; he will surely get a smack of her paper fan if he doesn't st—wait a minute! What is he doing? Not himself, but him, he turned around again to notice "fake" Sousuke, looking at her with that damn smirk as he visually took in her image. Once again, he was frozen as the scene unfolded in front of him:

"You're going to get the floor all wet Sousuke!" she said as she laughed and turned around to fully put her body under the falling water.

"Sorry Chidori" said Sousuke as he walked inside the shower himself to join her, closing the shower curtain as quickly as he opened it.

Sagara was still frozen on the spot. Chidori, showering with himself! Him! An imposter! Because that's not him! He's standing right here! How can that guy be here? And why is Chidori not fazed by all this proximity… it's almost like it's… like… like it's natural that they do this. He had to stop it! They were both imposters! Surely Chidori wouldn't act like that! His thoughts were interrupted by her giggling.

"Sleepy head! How long were you planning on sleeping?"

He couldn't take it anymore! He opened the shower curtain and grabbed Chidori's wrist away! His hand slipped passed her as if he was plain air. This must be Soviet new technology. He can't let this guy abuse Chidori like this ---

"I was so tired. These missions are killing me" said Sousuke as he brushed Chidori's wet hair backwards. Sagara's already red face started redning and hyperventilating was slowly following. "I missed you, Chidori."

Chidori's smiled but the smile soon dissolved as intense grey eyes looked at her. She knew what that looked meant. He knew that she knew what his look meant. Sousuke kissed Chidori softly at first, but as his hands finally got around her waist and she obliged with his pull towards him, the kiss intensified. It was the type of kiss Sagara never imagined himself ever giving. Sousuke grabbed Chidori's breast and smiled as he heard her whimper. He knew how to touch her, he knew what she liked. He liked knowing what she liked. He kissed her harder, because he couldn't contain himself and smoothed her bangs back with his hands which came to stop at the nape of her neck. He let go of her mouth and started trailing kisses down her neck making her squirm like he liked.

"Sousuke"…

He was going up in flames, this is how she always gets him. An agonizing want that seemed to never be sedated. The hell with taking it slow, he will take his time some other time. He kissed her hard again, this time biting her lips and demanding her tongue. She matched him with the same intensity and this was the only time in which he felt he could never hurt her.

He pushed her against the wall and lifter her so his face was now on one of his favorite parts of her. She brushed her hands through his wet hair and enjoyed his mouth on her breasts. She was a goddess, his goddess for him to enjoy like he's enjoying her now. He looked up to see her biting her lower lips but stopped as she realized he had stopped kissing her. She smiled as he smiled at her, her smile started lessening as his hands parted her legs apart and put them around his waist… passion radiated from her face and he fastened her tighter around him, them slowly, while looking at her, lowered her down to him…so he could…so he could…

**"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"**

"What the HELL!?!" Yelled an annoyed Kurz. He looked at the screaming Sousuke screaming on the bed next to him and threw the empty beer can he had been drinking only four hours ago. As always, his sniper aim was impeccable catching the startled Sousuke right in the forehead. "SOUSUKE!! Shut the hell up!"

Sousuke looked insane and like he had a 115 degrees fever. His shirt was fully covered in his own sweat, enough for him to take it off and drain it. He looked at his angry comrade and his surroundings.

"Weber?" ---- "……"

"Hey man? Are you ok? Nightmare huh? Since you woke me up, you better let it out so we can fix it and then I CAN GO BACK TO SLEEP" Kurz screamed throwing an extra pillow, aiming at Sousuke's in the face.

This time Sousuke caught it with excellent skill, catching the pillow 2.4 seconds before it touched his face. _A nightmare?_ No, it didn't feel like a nightmare? Did it? It seemed so real. Chodori – and himself, touching her the way her – "Nightmare?" Sousuke said in shock and waving his hair as to shake something off.

Kurz saw Sousuke's face turn from nervous to as red as a tomato in less than 10 seconds. "Well? Was it a nightmare?"

"I don't know. I was – I was…"

"Sousuke, seriously. Get on with it. Mao is going to come barging in here in less than an hour and I want at least 30 more minutes of sleep!"

"I was with Chidori in Tokyo, in my apartment. I thought she was in trouble you see. So I rushed in. But I was there already. She was showering. And I tried not to go in there. I mean I tried to stop myself, but – I couldn't. She was showering and----and naked …. I mean, we were showering so of course we're naked ---"  
Sousuke couldn't explain it even to himself much less to --- Kurz! Who was now looking at him with a huge ear-to-ear grin. "What's with the look" – "It's not what you're thinking!!"

"Of course. Of course. I mean Kaname is gorgeous. She's smart, funny, and not to mention she has the best pair of---"

"Hey! Don't talk about her like that! I don't know what this dream means but it won't happen again." Sousuke cut Kurz off just like that. With his 'you're dismissed, it's over' face and all.

Kurz was annoyed, that stupid fool, like he could control dreams, he wanted to hear what exactly happened in the dopes dream, but he had a pretty good idea what occurred. It seems to him that Sousuke can't be running away from his true feelings forever. So he's dreaming them up. God, this guy is so hopeless… he's lucky Kaname is actually waiting for him. It's interesting how things will unroll though thought Kurz. Speaking of which…. When will he himself take care of his feelings? But that's for another time concluded Kurz as he finally went back to his snooze.

It felt like Kurtz just closed his eyes when Melissa came barging into their room just like she always does. "Wake up you good for nothing sons-a-bitches! What are you momma boys or somethin'? Don't make me use the water hose. You bastards are lucky it doesn't reach all the way in here. Up UP UP!!!" Kurtz grunted and threw his pillow on top of his head as if to block out all of Melissa's ranting...

╬╬╬

**A/N:** Hello. I hope it wasn't to confusing to understand. It was so hard to write in the present tense and still keep Sousuke looking at himself but not really... trust me, if you had trouble reading it... I had it harder writing it. I hope you liked it though! I loved the FMP series and I'm just waiting for the final release of the last novel! If you're a fan and follow this series like I am, you know what I'm talking about. If you don't -- GET TO IT! FMP is like my #1 anime! And that's saying a lot! OO

xX-Hipathya-Xx

ps: YES! I'm going to update my FFVII fanfics soon... Thank you for reading! Don't forget to review! Constructive criticism is the best! Ciao! XD


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